I wanted to talk in this article about removing the clutter – physically and emotionally.
How does your house look? Like a display home with everything where it should be, with no resemblance to the fact that there is actually someone living there – everything in its spot and place. What about your work desk? Clean and uncluttered. I have a ritual where every three months I de-clutter and throw away everything I haven’t used or looked at. The piles of rubbish never cease to amaze me. Office rubbish removal Sydney schedule the pick hours for your office garbage.
Why do I do this? Well, once it is all clear in my house, my wardrobe, my kitchen, my desk, my car, I am so much more productive and clear thinking. Everything is easier, quicker and more effortless to find and complete.
Just like physical clutter there is also emotional clutter. We sometimes aren’t even aware of how much emotional clutter we are carrying around. What happens is that just like physical clutter, those negative emotions, thoughts, grudges, disappointments and regrets slow us down, make us less productive and we lose energy that could be better directed on to other things.
So what am I talking about? Do you have fears about your riding? Do you let past memories of bad things haunt you in your present, when they should be let go and left in the past? What about resentments? Do you resent a horse for bucking you off or bolting on you? Basically, anything in your past that still affects you in your present needs to be let go of. This is in your personal life as well. To ride at a high, efficient level, you need to able to ride with a clear mind that is free.
So, are there any emotions and memories you’re hanging onto that really should be thrown away? Are there any grudges? Any negative emotions or resentments that you need to let go of? Remember, it’s not about what ‘someone’ did to you, because by hanging onto it… do you know what you are doing to you?
If you think I don’t understand – that you have a ‘right’ to hold anger or resentment towards someone, lets consider the story of Steven McDonald:
It was July, 1986. A 29 year old New York police officer by the name of Steven McDonald was walking in Central Park protecting the area from trouble. As he was walking he noticed three young men and thought he recognised them as wanted criminals. So he went to them to ask them a few questions. One of the boys seemed to be hiding something under his clothes. Steven tried to investigate. He was not expecting what happened next. One of the boys pulled out a gun. He shot Steven in the head and neck. Steven fell to the ground, blood pouring from his head.
Doctors worked as hard as they could but could not repair the damage that had shattered his spinal cord. He was paralysed from the neck down, unable to move for the rest of his life and needed a machine to breathe.
He had been married just eight months to his wife who was 23, his wife was three months pregnant.
Steven was in hospital for the next eighteen months. While he was there, his wife gave birth to their baby boy, Connor. The only part of Steven’s body with feeling was his face and this is how he felt his son.
At the church for Connor’s baptism service Steven talked about the man who had shot him:
‘I forgive him. And I hope that he can find peace and purpose in his life.’
Steven’s statement shocked many people. Many of his friends did not understand why Steven chose to forgive.
He explained it by saying:
‘I wanted to free myself of all the negative emotions – emotions that this act of violence awoke in me – the anger, the bitterness, the hatred. I needed to be free so that I could love my wife, our child and those around us.’
What I love about this is he says that forgiving didn’t remove the struggle… or the questions.
He says:
‘We still struggle every day. My wife wants to know why… My son sees other fathers and sons playing. He wants to know why he can not have those experiences with his father. So we still struggle.’
Steven speaks in schools about forgiveness and says:
‘I often tell people that there is only one thing worse than a bullet in my backbone. That is filling my heart with hate and revenge.’
‘Forgiveness is a subject that people need to hear about today more than ever. As human beings we need forgiveness – we may be giving it – or asking for it… Forgiveness is really about our own healing. We may experience big or small wrongs. But in the end, we choose what we do.’
So what can you learn from Steven? Remember, forgiveness is not about the other person – it helps you, and you are doing it for you. The other person doesn’t need to even know about it. It can be big things or small.
Just like the physical clutter in my home that was slowing me down and stopping me from becoming all I can be, even more so is emotional clutter. Make sure you let go of the past and forgive and accept what has happened so you can go freely into your future.
With riding it is so important to forgive your horse. I have so many clients that say “my horse bucked once and now I won’t canter in case he does it again”. Or “my horse won’t walk – he always jogs”. I have a saying – ‘no past, no future’ when I ride. I can’t think about what could happen next stride, and I can’t obsess, blame or be angry about the stride before. I need to be in the moment, only concentrate on that stride. Imagine if you had no past, no fears, no anger, no frustrations. That is what forgiveness is about. Letting go so you are free to explore your present, and enjoy it going into your future.
Let me know how you go with it! I love getting the emails!
To your riding success,
Natasha
Natasha Althoff-Kelley
Visit my website for your free Ebook on Lasting Riding Success
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